The Jelly Bean Incident

I am not much of a candy eater, which is ironic because my Dad was a total candy addict.  I go through spurts – that usually coincide with the letters p, m and s – where I’ll eat a few bites of something but generally I’m a potato-chip-junkie and I pass over the candy.  We still have a bowl of Halloween candy left!  It’s kind of funny, anyone that comes to our house always hits the candy bowl because the good stuff is always still there.  It’s not like most houses where the only candy left is the crap you would only eat after the good stuff is taken or ingest after the age of 70.  Honestly, I don’t even know why we have a candy bowl since neither of us ever eat it.  LOL.

However at Easter I usually pick up a few choice bags of candy.  Cadbury Mini Eggs are the one thing that I adore and will sit and eat the entire bag of if given the option (and lack of willpower).  I also like jelly beans.  I think the jelly beans are related to memories more than like though.  My Dad had this hilarious way of eating jelly beans.  He’d eat them in color order.  He’d start with his favorite color (red) and work his way down from there, in order, until the bag was only pink and white jelly beans.  This was the good ol’ Brach kind – this was way before they fancified jelly beans.  Every time I see a bag, I think of Dad.  So I picked up a bag of the Starbust “FaveReds” jelly beans because a) I went to the store hungry, b) I was sick and c) I was hungry.  I’ve had them on my desk since then and munch on a bite or two every now and again – typically when I’m hungry and waiting for the hubs to get home.

Friday I was hitting the sugar lows waiting for the hubs to get home from work and I figured I’d eat a couple bites of jelly beans to tide me over until dinner.  I took about two bites and somehow swallowed the suckers nearly whole.  Of course they went down the wrong pipe and I coughed them up when they hit my lugs.  Let me tell you, that was a fun feeling!  I then got to reswallow the whole mess and felt the scraping – again! – the entire way down my throat.  Oh, my god.  It burned, it hurt and it brought tears to my eyes.  Then, I got the lovely taste of iron.  Yes.  I managed to slice and dice my throat on two jelly beans.

Meanwhile, my husband’s friend Paul decided we should all go out to dinner so wanted ME to make reservations.  So I had to call and gasp out our reservations.  My throat bled for about an hour and that dinner??  I don’t recommend following the jelly bean incident up with spicy sausage.

I finally can swallow easier today but it still feels sore.  I have a feeling though I’m going to be teased about this one for years.  Already my husband is saying. “you are the one that nearly died on a jelly bean.”  Great.  LOL

Continue Reading